Not the right kind of girl
by Her Precious Amber
Summary: Bella has a tormented past. How tormented? You'll have to read to figure it out. EmXBXAlice Wanna know how that happens? Read muahahaha
1. Chapter 1

AN: This is my first fanfiction so... Oh also I own nothing but the plot. Stephanie Meyer has everything else. Also Pink owns her song. ^^

I'll be the first person to admit this I'm not the type of girl you'd want to bring home to mom. I've been drinking and smoking various things since I was at least ten years old… Young isn't it? You want to know the reason why I started all that shit? You won't find out for a while or, maybe you never will. But anyway, my name is Isabella Swan but I prefer Bella…Isabella sounds so old. I just recently turned eighteen and I live in Forks, Washington with my biological father, Charlie-who's the police chief of this hick town. I guess life is supposed to be better here, though, I honestly don't think it is. Back in Phoenix I...You know what...Never mind. Let's just say I moved to Forks because of...Differences...with my mother and her new husband. I'll admit though life has been changing ever since I met him - He's this tall maybe around 6' 3" broad shoulders guy with more muscles than should be allowed. He's got this dark curly hair that he keeps cut short and bright golden eyes on his gorgeous face. The only reason I know this is because for one its hard to NOT look at him…and plus I sit next to him in Biology. Though I guess I should back up and start my story to when I actually met this god of a man.

First day of School - Biology

"Hey Arizona. How you likin' the rain girl?" I couldn't help but let out a little giggle and shaking my head as Mike Newton flipped his hat towards me in an attempt to get me even wetter than I already was. After our little scene, I turned around to face the class tucking some of my hair behind my ear so it would blow to wildly in the fan as I handed the teacher my new student slip. It was then that I saw him. He was sitting beside the window, looking as if someone had just stabbed him with his rigid posture and the strained look on his face. He oddly reminded me of a bear once I got a better look at him. I got my book from our biology teacher and sat down next to the bear man after being instructed to. After our teacher handed us our equipment for our lab and instructed us to arrange them in the correct order from Interphase through Prophase. I frowned quietly watched every muscle in his arm when he pushed the small glass and microscope towards me after looking in briefly himself. _'Guess he isn't much of a talker.'_ I thought to myself going through the class, finishing the experiment in good time, and taking notes when that was over. A second before the bell rang, the bear like man was already out the door and gone as if the building was on fire.

I started to walk to my ancient beaten up red truck listening to my iPod. Earlier this evening during lunch Jessica Stanley – an annoyingly preppy girl who used 'like' to fucking much in my opinion- had told me who all of the Cullen kids were at lunch. I had sat there at the table my eyes never leaving the group but my thoughts where only centered on the bear of a man. Emmett Cullen was apparently his name and Jessica said he was the joker out of the group of siblings. _'Maybe that's a good thing. The rest of them look so serious or bitchy. Well...except for Alice.'_ I thought about the pixie like woman causing me to smiling without meaning to. I jumped when the object of my thoughts popped up next to me seemingly out of nowhere. "Hey. Your Isabella Swan right? I'm Alice. I wanted to come invite you to eat with us tomorrow at lunch." She said her voice sounding like wind chimes as she spoke.

I blinked dumbly looking at the nearly vibrating Pixie and nodded dumbly only managing out a "Bella." In regards to my name.

"Great. You know where we sit. I'll be waiting" She said eagerly bounced away to Edward holding his arm smiling in both of hers. I noticed that almost all of the other Cullens looked ticked off at the pixie though I think she could probably care less.

I shrugged getting into my truck listening to the pink song that blasted through my headphones drowning out the groans of protest my truck let out. "Keep your dreams just give me the money! It's just you and your hand tonight" I sang along to the song on the way home at a slugs pace due to my ancient trucks lack of speed. Once I pulled up I saw that Charlie's police car wasn't there yet and for that I was kind of glade. Forgoing my umbrella I ran inside of the house and magically didn't slip on the pavement or the stairs and add something else to my long list of injuries and inside of my room lying on the bed quietly. My thoughts were centered around the two beautiful Cullens and how they might prove to be good fri-

"Bella. You can't keep doing this to yourself. You know better then to make friends. James will find out and hurt them. Is that what you want?" I mumbled talking to myself effectively cutting my thought short. Sighing dejectedly I closed my eyes my dreams quickly turning into a nightmare I've had for months on end.

_Inside of an abandoned warehouse in Phoenix Arizona close to the suburbs where I lived, a man with long blonde hair and a livid look in his bright blue eyes. I was frightened like a dear in the headlights as I gazed at him. My back was pressed against the uncomfortable wall of the warehouse tears streaming down my face as he walked closer to me. "Stupid fucking Bella. You think that I didn't know you were fucking this idiot?" James sneered out angrily as he pulled a young teenaged boy closer towards me In-between both of us._

_I recognized the guy as my friend I had been hanging out with a lot in the past few weeks. I nearly collapsed as I took in the sight of him. His eyes where blood shot and he had grime all over his face probably from being drug across the dirty warehouse floor so much by James. His clothes where nearly torn to shreds and he was bleeding badly from a wound on his chest and had various bruises forming around his chest legs and face where James had struck him repeatedly the butt of the gun he held close to my friends head. "I wasn't James! He's just a friend! Please let him go!" I cried out as his evil eyes narrowed at me._

_"Friend? Heh, you don't have friends you fucking slut..." James said angrily tossing my roughly to the side and pointed the guns straight at the boys chest." Remember Isabella…. If I can't have you then no one can" He shouted at me a crazed look in his eye. All I could do was scream and shake as he pulled the trigger to the gun and shot my friend repeatedly in his head causing his blood to splatter out on me. I continued to scream loudly holding myself and shaking whimpering at the sight of the body._

_James smiled sadistically and came closer to me "your fucking mine understand bitch?" He put the gun to my left shoulder and shot me smirking watching my blood poor out of me and then kissed my lips possessively and all I could do was cry and try to move away despite the pain. After only a bit more struggling I became dizzy and light headed and passed out his evil laughter echoing in my head._

I barely muffled my scream opening my eyes my breathing was labored. "Its okay, Bella calm down. He's not here he's gone." I mumbled to myself getting up and grabbed a bag, a lighter, and some paper and sneaked past Charlie's room. Quietly I went to Charlie's liquor cabinet opening it and getting out some vodka. I silently debated on how to drink it before I just grumbled deciding to do it straight and went outside. Quickly I rolled up the weed like the expert I was and lit it up taking a long drag and held in the smoke for a while before letting it out with a sigh. After reducing the blunt to about half its original size I open the vodka bottle and look at it "Bottoms up…" I mumble to myself and drank straight from the bottle not even feeling the burning sensation of it anymore. I continued doing this and smoking my blunt until I was had passed out with the burnt out end of my blunt in my hand and the bottle of vodka in my lap.

A/N: Please Review? Thank My beta reader for this new and better chapter lol. Love you babe ^^


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Hiya guys! GUESS WHAT! SHE PROPOSED! Anyway, I own nothing but the plot of this story. Thank you for the reviews. Oh and thanks to my beta Love you baby!

Chapter 2

Surprisingly-note my evident sarcasm-I woke up with a killer headache the next morning. Ever so slowly I slid out of bed not pausing to thing how I ended up there in the first place before I started to head down the stairs. Not even noticing my father watching T.V. I went to the kitchen and started brewing myself a boiling hot pot of coffee and a thing of toast. I lazily sat at the kitchen table looking into my coffee as the pounding in my head slowly started to diminish. After about ten minuets of drinking my coffee and eating my toast I sighed glancing at the clock before moving to put my dirty dishes with the sink and head off upstairs. I needed to get the sweat off of me and now or I knew I was going to be late for class. While in the shower, I smiled a little bit thinking of the Cullen's that where actually nice to me and then shook my head violently making the smile fall from my face as I exited the shower.

"I know better. I can't get close to them..." I mumbled to myself in a quiet tone before moving to my dresser and dressed in my normal acid wiped blue jeans and a tight black baby tee. I checked myself over in the mirror brushing out my ebony locks. 'Strange though, they used to be shinier, they used to have more of a bounce' I thought to myself as I finished combing my hair and quietly applied what little make up I wore now a days. Quietly I slipped on my nikes and headed down the stairs. _'That was before… him, Bella. When you were truly Bella and not this shadow. Don't you miss that girl?' _I sighed and nodded answering the question I asked myself. I did miss the girl I was before James came into my life, but there was no going back now, was there? I went to the kitchen pouring myself another cup of the black stuff that would hopefully help me survive today once more. I sighed heavily knowing that I would have to leave my safe haven soon and head to that hell hole they call school.

As I was gathering all my stuff for the day including the forgotten school books I had tossed into my chair. For some reason I was compelled to look in the first page of my science page and what I found made me tilt my head. Neatly tucked into one of my books was a note with my name written in elegant calligraphy. I opened it up and read it to myself as I sat back down on my bed.

_**Dear Bella,**_

_**I know that this may sound weird coming from me since you don't know me but…. Just take my words to heart okay? Your truly are a good wonderful person even if you don't recognize it yourself yet. I understand why you didn't like the thought of hanging around us that much. I sincerely apologize for myself and my family for any thing we have done consciously or unconsciously to make you feel this way. Maybe, when you're more comfortable around us, you and I can go shopping together. You could use some new clothing dear those rags your wearing aren't very flattering to your gorgeous figure. Oh and Emmett thinks your beautiful dear trust me ;)**_

_**Love, Alice Cullen.**_

I blinked a few times clearly confused by the look I had on my face and silently re-reading the note over and over until I had memorized ever word she wrote. "This girl is seriously crazy….. I haven't even had lunch with them yet and she's apologizing for stuff." I said aloud as I shook my head looking at the time and going wide eyed "SHIT!" I yelled as I grabbed my keys from my bedside table and ran outside.

As I ran out the door, I slipped on the slick pavement of the drive way right in front of my truck. Fucking Figures. I was always clumsy it was how I got most of my scars and broken bones. _'Yeah, keep telling yourself that kid.'_ I thought to myself with a bit of malice before I dismissed these thoughts and finally climbed into my truck. Cranking it up I heard it wail of protest before the engine roared to life momentarily deafening me before I headed off driving the fifteen minutes it takes to get to the school in complete silence since in my rush I forgot my ipod.

When I finally found an empty parking place I sat there for about ten minutes with my forehead pressed onto the steering wheel with my eyes closed. I thought about James and then I compared him to Emmett after a few moments. _'They're nothing alike Bella. Relax James would never be as cute and goofy as Emmett is supposed to be.'_ I was so engrossed in my thoughts that I nearly jumped out of my skin when I heard someone lightly rap their knuckles against the glass of my truck. Looking over I saw the tiny spiky haired pixie that was Alice Cullen. She smiled up at me patiently waiting on the side walk now for me to get out of my truck. I sighed and did so after a moment before looking to her taking in her appearance. She was wearing designer fit clothing and shoes as well as accessories looking like she jumped right out of a vogue magazine. "Hi Bella. You are going to eat with us today… Right?" She said this with a slightly knowing tone to her voice as if she already knew the answer to my question as she smiled slightly at me.

"Yeah Alice. Sure." I mumbled not really in a talking mood as she grinned triumphantly. That's the only thing I saw her do as I shouldered my backpack and hurriedly scurried to my first class of the day… History…great….

After my first class of the day I was trying to avoid talking to everyone. The head ache from earlier this morning was threatening to return and my throughts haven't been the most forgiving all day. But just my luck right when I turned the corner one very high pitched male voice brought through the silence I was wishing to maintain around myself "Hey Bella!"

I groaned hearing Mike's annoying voice turning to look at him keeping an air of friendliness around me as to not be rude. "Hey Mike. What's up?"

"Nothing… Hey look Bella… I was just wondering….. Do you have a date to prom? I mean, you could go with me…I..I-I mean if you want to you can… if you already have a date then that's cool…." Mike stuttered out as he looked at me hopefully a tinge of pink hitting his face as he tried to keep his eyes away from my curves that I had decided to show today.

I blinked a few times staring at him shocked my mouth agape for a few seconds before rapidly blinking and coming up with a very quick excuse to turn the boy down. "Um…Mike. I have something to do that weekend actually. But I think you should go ask Jessica. I know she wants to go with you so you wont be disappointed." I said this quickly and smiled politely at the crestfallen boy and hurriedly walked to my seat in biology. When I entered, I unconsciously bit my lip as I took my set next to Emmett.

For the first ten minuets of class I was dead silent and stairing straight ahead at the teacher barely blinking before I felt a hard arm gently nudge my own scrawny one snapping me out of my thoughts. Turning my head quickly I looked at the god of a man sitting beside me who gave me one of his heart melting boyish smiles before he spoke "Bella you could pay attention. "

My heart raced at hearing his voice for the first time ever and I tried to smile an equally cute smile at him as I bit my lip sheepishly. "Sorry Emmett…. I sorta zone out at times." I said quickly as I glanced out at the board the teacher was currently writing on "Besides…. I already know this stuff he's talking about so yea but thanks for snapping me out my thoughts."

He nodded and flashed me that childish grin. "Your welcome Bella" I smiled back at him and thought back to the note Alice had slipped inside of my books. Did he really think I was beautiful? I shook my head of the thought after a moment thinking it impossible why would someone as handsome as him have think that about plain old me….

After biology all my other class flew by and it was lunch before I knew it. After I got my salad I was instructed to sit in-between Emmett and Alice with the other siblings whom I had learned were Rosalie, Jasper, and Edward were sitting at there sides. I didn't say a word as I picked at my salad trying to ignore the dark glare that Rosalie was giving me and the cold stare that Edward was sending me. "-Bella. Earth to Bella!" I heard this from my left side.

"Alice, I think you broke her or something." Emmett teased playfully nudging me gently as I looked up from the still untouched salad.

"Nonsense. You're the one that broke her Emmett. I'm not the one who keeps shoving her with those two ton arms of yours" She smirked back at him with an equally playful tone of voice that even caused Rosalie's lips to twitch a little in an effort to smirk.

I just shook my head at the family environment the two were giving off and stiffened myself as I bit my lip hard. Family huh? That's something I wasn't used to… I never was used to. Quickly I stood and tried to smile at the two but failed miserable "I..I have to go. I'm sorry." I muttered not sure if they had heard me before I dumped my salad into the garbage can and fished around for my keys and ran out to my truck to go home ignoring Alice and Emmett calling my name. I had an old friend that I needed to see badly. That friend conviently lived under one of my floorboards waiting for me.

When I pulled up at my house I frantically got the house key out shaking a little as I opened the door and quickly ran up my stairs falling at least twice and hurting my knees and hands before I slammed my door shut locking it even though I knew Charlie wasn't home.

I took my shaky hands and opened my loose floorboard near the foot of my bed and there it was. My last bit of Heroin from a year ago that I kept just in case I'm surprised myself that that's how long it had been since I last shot up. Getting it out of its zip lock bag and getting one of my packaged needles I always stole from the hospitals I wondered briefly if anyone would care if I overdosed on the stuff. I snorted as I prepared everything realizing with slight anger no one would ever care about little fucked up Bella Swan not even my parents.

I got out a needle filling it full of my wonder drug and smiling grimly to myself before getting my elastic tie ribbon and tied it tight around my arm waiting only a few seconds for my vein to appear. I leaned against my bed and let the needle glide into my awaiting vein as I emptied the contents into my body. I sat there in complete bliss for a few moments. I closed my eyes for a good ten minutes before opening them groggily and seeing what I thought to be an angry Emmett and Alice Cullen glaring at me and the needle that laid limply in my hand. _'Stupid fucking … illusions. They wouldn't care no one cares. '_I thought to myself before passing out not feeling as my body started to convulse from the large quantities of heroin in my system. The last thing I felt was freezing cold muscular arms gently cradle me and wind hitting my face before I went numb.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: I am so sorry that it's taken me this long to update. I've been so busy lately. I own nothing but the plot. Thank you to my wonderful girlfriend of a Beta. She's the one that makes this story better then I ever could. Love you, honey.

Chapter 3

The next time I woke up I was in a bright room in what seemed to be a hospital bed. _'I can't be in a hospital. Not again.'_ I thought to myself as I looked around frowning actually seeing books around me. "Where the hell am I?" I started to sit up holding my head with one hand as I looked around the room. Blinking I finally started to remember what exactly I had done last night and sighed lowly. Someone must have come home and caught me shooting up. Slowly, I moved the covers away from my body shivering at the cool air of the room and started to get onto my feet, realizing very quickly that I was not wearing my normal attire. I had been put in silk of all things. '_Silk… In a hospital…'_ Pondering that still I started to move toward the stopping and taking a step back when it opened just as I began to reach for the knob.

"It's about time you woke up young lady. Do you know how worried you had us Isabella?" Alice said walking in with a tray of food in her hands a look in her amber eyes. "Now, get back into that bed and eat. You're not leaving until Carlisle says you can. Once you do that, do you want to explain why the hell you would do something like that to yourself?" Alice had an angry look on her face as if she were in pain because of what I had done which really baffled me.

"How did you find me? …" I asked out loud doing as Alice said laying back down in the uncomfortable bed once more still feeling a bit dizzy.

"I didn't. Emmett did. He came over to give you some homework you had forgotten and found you nearly passed out in your room. He called me and I helped get you here." She said in a soft tone sitting the food next to me. "Now eat…." She said just when my stomach started growling loudly letting me off the hook… at least for the moment.

I sighed as I looked at the food in front of me. It was just a plain turkey sandwich and a bottle of water but to me it looked nearly like heaven. I took a bite of the sandwich blinking at the taste. It was fucking amazing. I gulped down the water and the sandwich together trying not to moan at the heavenly taste. Alice giggled softly at me and when I looked at her she had the oddest expression on her face coupled with her normal beautiful smile. It was almost like she was curious about what I had just tasted. _'It's just a regular ol' sandwich.' _I thought to myself before I lifted my head up after hearing the door open again.

"Ah. Ms. Swan I'm gald you're awake." Alice's beautiful father, Carlisle, smiled a dazzling smile at me and came over touching my arm and I unconsciously shivered at the contact. I mean I knew doctor's hands were supposed to be cold but this was ridiculous he felt like ice. "Alice. Go ask Esme to make some more food for our guest." Alice nodded at his instruction looking at me worried before walking out. "How are you feeling, Bella?"

"I'm okay, I guess." I mumbled looking away from the doctor and instead looked around the room at the paintings in the study. They were interesting to say the least. Studying them I barely paid any attention to what Carlisle was doing since I knew from his gaze and his ghost like touches that he was was just checking me out. After he was done I looked up at him sighing "Can I go home?"

"Oh hell no. Your not going anywhere." I heard Emmett open the door glaring at me angrily pain evident in his eyes as he looked me over. Why was he looking at me this way? Hadn't I told him that I wasn't a perfect angel? Oh well. Guess he figured it out now. I snorted and stood up managing not to even look dizzy this time.

"I can leave if I want to. You can't stop me Emmett." I challenged watching his now black eyes as they narrowed.

"Wanna bet little girl?" He folded his arms walking over, towering over me. I looked up at him not scared one bit. I mean… if I could handle James, I could handle Emmett.

"And if I do?" I tilted my head to the left side smiling a little before it turned into a small frown. I watched as Alice touch Emmett's shoulder and watched as he backed away from me and more towards the door.

"Just make her explain, Alice." I heard Emmett whisper and saw the pain in his eyes grow. Why was everyone looking like that? I was nothing special. I was just Isabella Swan the Queen of the fuck ups.

As they walked away and out of the room I looked to Carlisle, who was watching me intently like he was waiting on me to explain things. "I'm not going to tell you or anyone else. It's my life and you all need to just stay out of it." I said in a calm voice. "If I want to shoot up or anything else its my choice." I made a move to the door and the silent doctor made no move to stop me, and I took that as an offer to leave if I wanted. So I took it. As I walked down the staircase I saw no one in my way and ran out the front door. I needed to get away from here… away from their pitying looks and the odd pain I saw in their eyes…. Couldn't they just understand that I wanted to die?


End file.
